It's feeding time! The world of feeding fantasies

Imagine these situations: A man emerges from the kitchen, carefully balancing a laden tray on the low table, and places it down with a smile. A woman lies on the sofa and sits up with difficulty to eat. This is a struggle for her, as she is severely overweight and finds it difficult to change position.

She smiles expectantly at her loved one, who proudly shows her the delicacies he has prepared for her in the kitchen. They are mainly fatty, rich dishes – the kind that anyone trying to lose weight would immediately put on their list of foods to avoid.

Crisp packets and chocolate wrappers are scattered around the sofa, along with empty peanut and pistachio shells. As she starts to eat, he pours her a large glass of cola. When she smiles gratefully at him, he starts feeding her various morsels. They both giggle and enjoy the food, although the man hardly touches it.

The woman finishes most of the huge portion, leaving only a few bites. She groans and refuses to eat any more, but he gently and lovingly forces her to finish it. Shortly afterwards, she is back in her old position on the cushions with the TV remote control in her hand.

The man has disappeared into the kitchen again. She hears the fridge door open and close, followed by the sound of crackling. Twenty minutes after she has finished eating, he returns with a bowl of chocolate ice cream. On top is an impressive mountain landscape made of cream, with several nut waffles stuck in it like a crown. She should actually feel sick after the fatty meal she had not long ago, but instead she smiles devotedly and pats the cushion next to her. Sure enough, she lets the man feed her again.

What is described here is a 'feeder' with his 'feedee'. These terms refer to a man who feeds a woman until she is practically tied to the house and ultimately to the bed by her excess weight. This sexual perversion is more widespread than one might think, with many websites catering to feeders and feedees.

It is usually a man who feeds a woman, rather than the other way around. Unlike people who are erotically attracted to very fat women or men, feeders are more interested in creating this state of obesity. Feeding and the constant weight gain of the person being fed are experienced as erotic acts. Every gain or loss of weight plays a very important role. This is far less the case with 'fat admirers', i.e. people who prefer partners who are overweight.

Unlike these individuals, feeders seem to have a kind of 'creative intention', as their goal is to transform a person of normal weight into a helpless mass of fat without using direct coercion.

A 'feedee' is a woman who willingly accepts immobility, serious illness and complete loss of freedom. At a certain point, she can no longer leave, meaning she is dependent on the feeder, who has achieved complete dominance – this is actually the motivation behind their behaviour.

Feeding is seen by many as a paraphilic behaviour, i.e. a love of the unusual. However, the dominance element of this type of play is obvious and leaves room for doubt, as the ultimate aim of feeding is to destroy the 'object', which is usually a woman. A feedee ultimately becomes a nursing case because, at some point, they are no longer able to leave the house, go to work or even get out of bed. They become completely dependent on their partner and, once the fattening process has been successful, they have no opportunity to act independently or make any decisions for themselves.

It is not easy for a feeder to find a suitable woman who is willing to accept her illness, the loss of her personality and her inevitable early death. If a feeder finds such a partner, she is certainly someone for whom fear is a fundamental characteristic. She is willing to exchange social interaction for solitary confinement with a single carer in order to gain a sense of security or of being cared for.

Feeders do not want to care for or look after someone; they are looking for malleable 'material' that they can use as they please and use to commit a kind of evil creation. Even if there is a superficial willingness, it is not genuine, as it involves deliberate and controlled bodily harm. Illness and disability are not only accepted, but actively sought after. In this context, criminal relevance emerges, particularly when the feedee becomes dependent on care.

© 'It's feeding time! The world of feeding fantasies. The fine line between care and control in partnerships': An article by Pressenet (translated by Izabel Comati), 08/2025. The image shows the overweight Daniel Lambert in a painting by Benjamin Marshall from 1806, CC0 (Public Domain Licence).